Dear Romeo,
I'm sorry I cut off your testicles. I just had to do it, it was for the greater good. Now, you'll be calmer, and live longer. I'll never have to worry about you getting into fights over girls late at night. Your brother will keep his eye, and your wrist is healing quite nicely. Oh my dear Romeo, you must understand, it is better this way, though I'm sorry I betrayed you. I kidnapped you on a rainy after noon. You were sleeping in the top floor of your apartment. You thought I was just inviting you inside for a cup of milk. I will never forget your betrayed look as your curled up in your cage and I left to find your brother.
Forgive me Romeo, it is all better now. We will no longer have kittens roaming our porch, but I am glad that you will live. Your brother will not attack you with his dagger like claws, and you will not attack him.
Your Loving Owner,
Ashley
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Losing an eye?! Hilarious if no one realizes that this is a pet! Sound like a slave owner
Wow thats the utimate apology letter.
Post a Comment